I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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