Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.