he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.