it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
