does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
