They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
