lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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