just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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