i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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