My hand turned me down
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
