You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
