I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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