I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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