just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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