end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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