Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
