would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
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We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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