There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
