A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
