Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
