I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
