i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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