all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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