The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
