I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
