please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
