i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
