Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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