Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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