I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Randomize
