bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
