i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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