that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize