he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
