did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
