My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize