no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
