He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
