I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
