I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
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I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
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I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
dude. I can hear the air.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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