these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
