he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're breaking my sexual little heart
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize