im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
