So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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