Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
