too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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