oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
