I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
