Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
