margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
