Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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