I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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