rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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