He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
pray to the hookup gods
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
