i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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