I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
