Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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