i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
there was a trapeze. enough said
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
