Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
