hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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