Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Someone came in the potted fern
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
