Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.

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  (206): I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed. http://tfl.nu/hhhb
  Replies (26) Good night (1105) Bad night (5768)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.

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  (908): just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep. http://tfl.nu/seq6
  Replies (14) Good night (5520) Bad night (1519)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.

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  (507): He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in. http://tfl.nu/mt4b
  Replies (15) Good night (3706) Bad night (1136)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.

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  (641): yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors. http://tfl.nu/lgo5
  Replies (4) Good night (1768) Bad night (1306)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.

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  (937): I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt. http://tfl.nu/gq37
  Replies (3) Good night (926) Bad night (1369)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.

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  (440): We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault. http://tfl.nu/4i3v
  Replies (5) Good night (916) Bad night (658)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business

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  (+61): This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business http://tfl.nu/efay
  Replies (2) Good night (982) Bad night (598)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.

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  (717): My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos. http://tfl.nu/1tew
  Replies (3) Good night (1106) Bad night (595)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend

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  (216): every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend http://tfl.nu/09b0
  Replies (8) Good night (2332) Bad night (1122)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!

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  (405): Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting! http://tfl.nu/ctqc
  Replies (3) Good night (1442) Bad night (581)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels

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  (423): You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels http://tfl.nu/y9c9
  Replies (5) Good night (1180) Bad night (443)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..

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  (704): All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar.. http://tfl.nu/zfs2
  Replies (5) Good night (880) Bad night (420)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans

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  (519): Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans http://tfl.nu/rcga
  Replies (7) Good night (426) Bad night (944)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE

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  (443): Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE http://tfl.nu/r2uu
  Replies (4) Good night (870) Bad night (374)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.

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  (207): I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there. http://tfl.nu/iapv
  Replies (5) Good night (1339) Bad night (386)

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