im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I have demons in me.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.