Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
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She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
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But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin