god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
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I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
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All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?