Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.

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  (978): Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you. http://tfl.nu/pcz9
  Replies (16) Good night (887) Bad night (3623)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.

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  (253): i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed. http://tfl.nu/26az
  Replies (35) Good night (3864) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  i cant believe jose lima did steroids

  (281): View more from Texas

  apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball

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  (713): i cant believe jose lima did steroids (281): apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball http://tfl.nu/yhdf
  Replies (13) Good night (2105) Bad night (2375)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.

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  (502): She never called back. Financed a fleshlight. http://tfl.nu/uvos
  Replies (13) Good night (769) Bad night (3299)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?

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  (313): How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going? http://tfl.nu/4fop
  Replies (11) Good night (1222) Bad night (4157)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.

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  (410): When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand. http://tfl.nu/fda6
  Replies (39) Good night (1857) Bad night (5382)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  cat food counts as protein by the way

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  (709): cat food counts as protein by the way http://tfl.nu/k5gc
  Replies (13) Good night (1655) Bad night (4221)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?

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  (360): Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life? http://tfl.nu/1n7v
  Replies (14) Good night (4009) Bad night (799)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.

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  (330): She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo. http://tfl.nu/dqo9
  Replies (20) Good night (3470) Bad night (1403)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here

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  (248): Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here http://tfl.nu/ic1h
  Replies (7) Good night (2762) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face

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  (248): Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face http://tfl.nu/s7dy
  Replies (12) Good night (667) Bad night (1954)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.

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  (215): I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident. http://tfl.nu/6tc4
  Replies (13) Good night (1646) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar

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  (732): How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar http://tfl.nu/83wg
  Replies (10) Good night (3046) Bad night (739)
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  (921): View more from

  Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!

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  (921): Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK! http://tfl.nu/zhve
  Replies (4) Good night (689) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.

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  (312): I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men. http://tfl.nu/h4bo
  Replies (7) Good night (640) Bad night (273)

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