Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
