I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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