Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
