ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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